he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
