you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize