Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
