so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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