I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
