God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize