Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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