Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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