u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Be still, my beating vagina.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
