what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
