The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
