i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
