I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
