I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
