I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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