my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
