I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
