I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
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