do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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