They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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