Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
