is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize