Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
