I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
