could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
