Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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