he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
