Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
