And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize