I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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