when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
