in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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