Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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