You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
