Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
