He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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