Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
wrigley field is MILF paradise
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
