im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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