i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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