Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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