but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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