Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize