thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Ladies don't puke and tell
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
