Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
