went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You can't motorboat a personality
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
