She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
