She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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