We're like a lot better than the average bears
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Can Purell be used as lube?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
