An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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