Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize