They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
