Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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