return my video game
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
