I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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