You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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