i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
