check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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