their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
