Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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