i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
