Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
