Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize