ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
