so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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