I feel great
I just peed on a car
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Found the puke drawer
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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