I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
