Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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