The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
