I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize