She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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