I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize