420 ftw
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
