All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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