she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He passed out mid-signature
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
