Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
