gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize