If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
