chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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