Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
