have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
