i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
