first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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