Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
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